Sugah! (Taken with instagram)
OH, I’M SORRY, LARRY. I THOUGHT THE POINT OF GETTING A HOTEL WITH DELICIOUS BREAKFAST SERVICE, SOME HOT TUBS AND A NICE LITTLE POOL WAS TO USE THOSE AMENITIES TO INCREASE OUR ENJOYMENT SINCE THEY’RE INCLUDED IN THE RENTAL PRICE. FUN DOESN’T COST EXTRA. I DIDN’T REALIZE CHECKING YOUR EMAIL 200 TIMES WAS YOUR IDEA OF A GOOD VACATION OR I’D HAVE JUST BOOKED US A TABLE AT THE COFFEESHOP BY OUR HOUSE.
I’M SERIOUS. STOP TEXTING AND FROLIC WITH ME BEFORE I STRANGLE YOU.
(via accordionkeys)
Source: animalstalkinginallcaps
Never have more children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck (via thingsandschemes)
Source: thingsandschemes
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